“I love him.”
I shook my head, “You don’t love him.”
She repeated, “I love him.”
“You don’t love him.” I rolled my eyes.
She handed me her phone and I studied the image. “She’s cute.”
My friend snatched her phone, “Shut up! That’s the chick he’s messing with.”
There is nothing worse than your man’s side piece or new girl being undeniably attractive to the point where your friends can’t find anything negative to say.
I grabbed her phone back and browsed through the girl’s Instagram. Based on the pictures I wanted to hang out with her. I gave her back her phone, “So, now what?”
“…should I message her?”
I gave her a side eye, “…and say what? “You don’t know me, BUT we’re talking to the same dude.” I busted into laughter.
She shrugged her shoulders, “What?”
I screeched, “What? And then what? You gonna stop talking to him? Do you think that’ll stop her from talking to him?”
She stammered, “I mean…I just…”
“You just…nothing!” You want her to know about you since you know about her. STOP. BEING. A. HATER.”
She snapped, “A hater?”
“Yeah, you trying to ruin that girl’s day. Miss her with that “I’m coming to you as a woman” bullshit.”
We both laughed.
She chimed in, “That is the single most used line when confronting another woman.”
“Exactly! Plus, you should act like you’re above the bullshit. You know, be the bigger person. Act like she’s a non mothereffen factor.”
She pointed at me and shook her head in agreeance. “Yeah, you’re right. Let me tag him in a picture on social media.”
I giggled and shrugged my shoulders, “Wait, but that not what I …eff it. Yeah, that’ll put YOU on her radar.”