Waiting to Exhale…and inhale and exhale again

March 29, 2017
It was like the scene from “Waiting to Exhale”. You know the one at Gloria’s birthday party when Bernadine decided to call John and deservingly cuss his ass out. Usually I would be Robin in this scenario. I would be in the background yelling. Hell, I would have dialed the number and did the talking for my friend. I wouldn’t be a Shirley for myself, but I’ll definitely Shirley a Barbara for my friends. My loyalty to them is comparable to Olivia Pope and Associates…over a cliff. However, maybe it’s the past month without vodka that has me feeling so zen. I don’t know how, but I was definitely Gloria in this situation.
I snatched her phone, “Don’t call him!”
“You see that shit? He still messing with her!”
I lowkey was regretting our Facebook lurking.
I tried to be light-hearted, “Well, if it’s any constellation if it wasn’t for her caption we wouldn’t know it was him. She taking them pictures like a side-chick who wants you to know, but he refuses to actually pose for the picture.” I started to laugh, but she wasn’t here for it.
She continued, “That’s why he’s been Casper the past couple of days and I thought it was random when she hit me up.”
It was like music was playing and the DJ abruptly stopped it.
 I was defensive immediately, “SHE CALLED YOU?”
“Texted me, telling me I was a ‘non-mothereffen factor’.”
I laughed, “You should have told her to get a better insult. That line has been so overused it’s been put on t-shirts.”
She was seething and said, “Give me my phone. I’m calling him…her.”
“I don’t think you should.”
She didn’t say anything. She just held out her hand.
I handed her, her phone. She mumbled, “bye” and grabbed her keys to leave.

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