The Check Up

April 6, 2017
“OMG! He lives right around the corner. We should just drive by.”
I contemplated bringing out my super powers, but thought about the last time my friend had me being the Erica Dixon to her Rasheeda. One random night she thought her then boyfriend was cheating on her. She came to this conclusion because he didn’t answer her phone calls. Mind you, it’s like 3AM. I told her he was probably you know…SLEEP. She wasn’t convinced. We hopped in the car blasting Khia’s “Thug Misses”. There is nothing like some good ol’ Khia to get you ready to catch a dude up.
We pull up to a quiet neighborhood and she spots what she thinks is a familiar car near her boyfriend’s house. “That’s her car. She’s in there.”
I cut the headlights off, “You sure?”
“Yes.” She hops out the car and proceeds to the front door. I hear her banging and then she disappears inside. I got out the car and did what any ride or die friend would do to her friend’s nemesis’ car. I broke off the reindeer antlers that were hanging out the front doors’ windows and then I grabbed the Rudolph nose from the grill. At that moment, she came casually walking down the driveway.
“All good?” I asked.
She shrugged and got in the car, “Ain’t nobody in there.”
I pointed to the backseat towards the broken antlers and Rudolph nose. “Uhhhh, whose reindeer did I just murder?”
She shrugged, “I don’t know.”
The next day her boo called questioning her about his aunt’s car ornaments.
All of this ran through my mind as she was begging me to go by her current beau’s house to “check” on him.
“NO!” I wasn’t budging.
“Real quick. That won’t hurt nobody.”
“Nah, you always be wrong and have us out here looking like fools.”
She pointed, “He live like two streets over. I would do it for you.”
I thought about it, “Okay. Just a drive by though. No getting out.”
She threw her hands up as if she was surrendering, “Just a drive by.”
Famous last words…


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