“You are 30, you don’t expect men your age to have kids?”
I thought about it for a second, “Not really. I don’t have kids.”
“What is the issue with kids?”
“The issue is I don’t want to deal with nobody’s baby momma. I also always had a rule. I don’t deal with dudes that have a kid under the age of three…and I use to say five.”
She rolled her eyes, “What?”
I looked up from my cell, “I’m not a mother, but I’m assuming when you have a kid from somebody you would want to be with them. Once a kid is involved that is technically your family, no matter what is going on. Also, I believe that the baby mom and baby daddy dynamic is a bit warped. I know plenty of the baby mommas and dads that sleep together even though they have significant others. Many women believe that if they sleep with their baby daddy they not doing nothing wrong because it’s their baby daddy. I’m not for that shit.”
“Are you serious? So, it’s not the kids. It’s the mother…or it could potentially be the mother”
“Hell yeah! I know some girls that religiously sleeps with their baby’s father. There are some baby mothers out there that think they trump the girlfriend, especially when multiple kids are involved.
She rolled her eyes.
“Think about it. Ya’ll have 2 or 3 kids been together on and off for 5-10 years, you look at any female as if they are there for a season because in their mind EVENTUALLY her and her baby daddy will live happily ever after with the kids.”
My friend grabbed the almost empty bottle of Pinot Noir and said, “You’re basically saying you don’t want compete with the baby mom.”
I laughed, “I don’t want to have to put the paws on some child’s mother.”
She thought about it for a second, “Well, I guess you have somewhat of a point. In terms of relationships you can be his girlfriend, wife, fiancée, or baby mom.”
“Exactly, but when it comes down to the hierarchy, what’s the order? I think it should be baby mom, girlfriend, fiancé, wife…”
“…nah! Girlfriend, baby mom and fiance are tied. The wife trumps them ALL! Why does it have to be in an order? Everybody can’t be important?”
“Why does it have to be important?” I tilted my head, “Have you watched Yandy on “Love and Hip Hop” lately?” We both laughed.
My friend lifted her eyebrow, “So, men with kids are out?”
I looked over, “Based on my last situation…kinda…maybe. I’m just saying I need to know the situation…and the kid has to be older than 3. I just don’t want to end up in any baby mom and baby dad cycle. I need the situation! And when I say situation…is she happily married?”
“You realize you’re 30 now. Good luck with finding a man with no kids.”
I pouted, “Yeah…you’re right.”