My eyes grew big, “She’s pregnant.”
My friend and I were stooped over behind a rack of clothes in Macy’s.
“No, she’s not.” She whispered. She was leaning over me and almost toppled me over. The woman turned more towards us.
“Take a picture.”
I was doing a whispered yell, “NO! Stalker much?”
“I just want to send him a pic. So, he knows I know that he’s still effen with her.”
I rolled my eyes, “Then take the picture then.”
“My phone is dead.”
I handed her my phone, “Here, man!”
The woman was now walking towards us.
My friend whispered, “Shit.”
She showed me the phone and it read, “Cannot take photo. There is not enough available storage to take photo.”
We both looked down at the phone trying to figure out what photos to delete.” She went on a deleting frenzy.”
“No, you can’t delete that. That’s my niece. Go and delete an app.”
She deleted my Hulu app. “Okay, here we…” She dropped my phone and started to pretend she was looking at clothes on the rack.
“The hell?” I looked over at her and went to pick up my phone when a pleasant voice said, “Here you go.”
I stumbled over my words, “Tha, Th, Thank you…ma’am”
“HI!” My friend nervously blurted out sounding like Sandy from “Spongebob Square Pants”
The woman smiled and kept it moving.
I checked to make sure my phone wasn’t cracked and said, “By the looks of that belly your married boyfriend isn’t getting a divorce, he’s adding on to his family.”