I never understood the games eff boys play. I had a situation once where I told this guy because of our long distance maybe we should be in a “touch and go” situation. You know we just take our time and casually date. We knew each other, but we didn’t really know each other and four states separated us. It made sense to…well, for lack of better terms “kick it”. Nope! He wasn’t having it. He said, “I want you to be my girlfriend because I knew you were the one since you walked into my class in 6th grade.” It was more of a command than a question. Now that I think about it he basically said the plot of the movie “The Wood”.
Any who, like a hopeless romantic or fool or the undercover-overlover I secretly am (still debating which one I should use) I agreed with stars in my eyes. It would be such a great love story. After years of disastrous dates and relationships THE ONE was a guy I’ve known since 6th grade. It was so perfect and magical that Disney should use it as a plot, right? NO! That relationship ended as theatrical as a Tyler Perry movie. And when I say theatrical I mean, me calling his momma.
My friend snapped, “Why do men do this shit?”
My friend was still upset about seeing her boyfriend…well, being somebody else’s boyfriend on Facebook. I grabbed my phone and read a tweet I saved, “Some people fake chemistry, be careful.”
My friend looked aggravated, “…but how you fake chemistry?”
I shrugged my left shoulder, “Simple. It’s like “Coming to America”. I started imitating the woman Prince Hakeem was supposed to marry. “Whatever you like.”
She laughed and started quoting the movie, “Bark like a dog”
“A BIIIG dog.”
I plopped on the sofa out of breath from bouncing on one leg. “Girl, they’ll have you thinking you have something in common like Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. That’s why they be so inquisitive and attentive those first few weeks. You’ll be like he’s so attentive. Nah, bruh taking inventory on you. They figuring out who you are, so they can pretend to be the guy that you want. That shit literally just happened to me. My voice went an octave higher, “…and I fell for it like some naïve college freshman.”
She mumbled, “Yeah, your nose was wide open.”
I tossed the remote at her, “SHUT UP!”
I got up and started bopping around and rapping Drake’s lyrics, “I’ve been down so long it looks like up to. They look up to me. I got fake people showing fake love to me. Straight up to my faaaace.”
She put a pillow up to block my hand gestures from her face, “Well, damn Gina! How you know when somebody is being their true self?”
I stopped bopping around for a minute and thought for a second. “Time”, I said confidently.
She shook her head in agreeance. “My daddy always said when you first meet people you’re meeting their representative. Nobody can be there representative forever. I guess you just have to make sure you don’t fall for the representative.”
I looked at her and shook my head in agreeance. I felt like we solved a case on “Unsolved Mysteries”. I grabbed my phone and clicked my Tidal app. Drake’s “Fake Love” started blaring through my speakers. I grabbed my friend and started saying, “I’ve been down so long…”