My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

April 3, 2017
“I don’t think we should go there. My ex-girl and her friends hang out there and she’s crazy.”
I was instantly turned off.
My BFF and I came to the realization a year or two ago that a guy saying his ex-girlfriend is crazy is an effort to dehumanize her and desensitize us. Immediately after she’s declared “crazy”, we think she’s a bitch. We also spend some of our free time in the mirror practicing cussing her ass out, just in case one day she tries it.
I gave him a side eye, “What makes her crazy?”
He stammered over his words, “I mean…she just is. She use to call chicks and pop up at places on me.”
“Were you dealing with these girls she use to call?”
“Nah, some of them were my homegirls. I been knew them.
I scrunched my face up, “Uhhh, so you didn’t sleep with any of them?”
“I’m just saying why go through a person’s phone anyway. She just always running people way. She got the mentality that if she can’t have me, nobody can.”
I exhaled, “How can she run people off? You must allow her to.”
“I don’t. She be lying. She called one of my girlfriends and said me and her were still sleeping together. We weren’t, bruh! But you know what? That one was my fault because when me and that girl broke up, I got back with my ex.”
I chuckled, “The crazy one?”
“So, both of ya’ll crazy?”
“No, it’s just…”
I interjected, “…actually let me call you back. That’s my momma calling me.”
I hung up the phone and immediately blocked his number.

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