Cloud 9

April 5, 2017

“Do you ever get your baggage confused with your intuition?” My friend was enamored with the 60s rack at the thrift shop. I looked over the rack, “All these clothes remind me of Diana Ross or stuff people wore at Studio 54.” She grinned like Chester the Cat, “I know. I love it!” I repeated my question, “Do you ever get your past relationship baggage confused with your intuition?” She thought for a second, “I mean…how can you get them…

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Stories Unwritten

April 4, 2017

“He be telling them hoes he love them and want to get married and they believe him #sillyrabbits” My friend was showing me her now ex-boyfriend’s baby mama’s Facebook status. I remained unfazed. A woman bragging about her “boyfriend” doing other chicks dirty never made sense to me. Let’s think about this for a second. So, this girl knows he’s out wooing and doing R.Kelly’s 12 play on other chicks, but she’s not dumb—they are? Girl bye! Nonetheless, I know…

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My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

April 3, 2017

“I don’t think we should go there. My ex-girl and her friends hang out there and she’s crazy.” I was instantly turned off. My BFF and I came to the realization a year or two ago that a guy saying his ex-girlfriend is crazy is an effort to dehumanize her and desensitize us. Immediately after she’s declared “crazy”, we think she’s a bitch. We also spend some of our free time in the mirror practicing cussing her ass out, just…

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Fake Love

March 30, 2017

I never understood the games eff boys play. I had a situation once where I told this guy because of our long distance maybe we should be in a “touch and go” situation. You know we just take our time and casually date. We knew each other, but we didn’t really know each other and four states separated us. It made sense to…well, for lack of better terms “kick it”. Nope! He wasn’t having it. He said, “I want you…

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Waiting to Exhale…and inhale and exhale again

March 29, 2017

It was like the scene from “Waiting to Exhale”. You know the one at Gloria’s birthday party when Bernadine decided to call John and deservingly cuss his ass out. Usually I would be Robin in this scenario. I would be in the background yelling. Hell, I would have dialed the number and did the talking for my friend. I wouldn’t be a Shirley for myself, but I’ll definitely Shirley a Barbara for my friends. My loyalty to them is comparable…

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A Facebook Search Away

March 28, 2017

“Everything is a Facebook click away.” I slowly nodded my head with my Facebook application open. My friend was hesitant. I could tell she knew this could potentially be the end. The truth is living in oblivion is sometimes easier. Oblivion allows you to not have to make a decision. It also keeps you living in your fairy tale. The only thing is oblivion will also have you stuck in neutral…and what’s life without progression? I could sympathize with her…

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The Good Morning Text

March 27, 2017

“He hasn’t texted me, “Good Morning” in four days. I was pouring her a mimosa, but just handed her the bottle of champagne instead. This was a serious situation. I sat next to her, “Okay, what happened the last time he sent you a “good morning text?” She started drinking the champagne straight from the bottle. “Nothing, it was a normal day.” Here’s the thing when guys start sending “good morning” texts it becomes a part of our daily schedules.…

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Nothing in Life is Free

March 24, 2017

I looked at my cell phone and rolled my eyes. “Sooo, when is it too soon to block someone who took you shopping a week ago.” My friend gave me a blank stare. “Here’s the thing, I actually prefer shopping alone, I hate trying on clothes,  and humans annoy me for the most part. Why did I think it was a good idea to go shopping with a man that I still kind of considered a stranger is unbeknownst to…

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Shop ‘Til You Drop

March 23, 2017

“You realize you’re a tax paying, working adult? You don’t have to entertain a guy because he wants to take you shopping.” I twisted my lips to the left, “Uhhh, who turns down free stuff?” She quipped, “All money ain’t good money so how you make yours?” I laughed instantly knowing she was quoting Diamond from “The Players Club”. She was over me, “Ma’am, it’s not that funny.” Between laughs I said, “…but Diamond was talking to her cousin, Ebony…

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I’m Gonna Tell Your Mama

March 21, 2017

My friend squeaked, “You talked his mother?”  “Yes, I talked to his mom.” My voice was monotone and nonchalant. In an octave, higher than before she screeched, “You talked to his momma?” In my same nonchalant tone, “I talked to his momma.” I plopped down on the park’s bench with some Eazy-E shades on. She took off her shades and turned around to face me directly. “Let me get this straight. Your grown ass tattled to that man’s momma.” I shrugged…

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