April 19, 2017
“…because people always tell women to stay and fight.”
She got up and started jabbing like a boxer. “Fight for him. Fight for your marriage. Fight for your man.”
I laughed, “Hell yeah! It’s like that episode of “Mary Mary” with Tina and Teddy.”
“Which one? They spent like two seasons on their issues?” She said dryly.
“Girl! That show was draining after a while. But remember when Erica told Tina to fight for her marriage and I remember thinking, “Why is she fighting though?” Teddy slept with everybody! Random women, her friend…”
“…the nanny.”
“Exactly. Why are women told to stay or why do we feel like we should? Is it really commendable when women stay with men who had a baby on them? Or is stupid?” How is it she’s strong because she stayed versus she’s strong because she left?”
She shrugged her shoulders, “Let’s face it! A woman comes home pregnant that man is LEAVING her.”
I widened my eyes, “Girl…” I rubbed my temples, “I literally pray right now, like every night that if my spouse tries me with some eff boy shit, I’ll leave.”
“Damn, the first time?”
I thought about it for a second. “Who was the asshole that convinced us that we shouldn’t leave after the first time?
She laughed, “You said that with all the disdain.”
“Listen, I pray if it ever it came down to it.” I paused to think about what I was about to say. I would only allow one “Lemonade” situation. One! And there is still a chance I might not make it to the end.”
“Well, what’s the end?”
“I think “All Night” or whenever Beyoncé’s mee-maw was saying how she turned lemons into lemonade.” I laughed, “I might give up at “Sorry”.”
“That’s only three songs in. You gotta at least make it to “Sandcastles”.”
I shook my head, “Nah, once you make it “Sandcastles” you’re staying. I might not make it to “6 Inch”.”
She couldn’t contain her laughter, “Basically you might get stuck at “Hold Up”.”
I laughed with her, “That part.”
“You know you’re probably going to go through all the phases of “Lemonade” right?”
My laugh became more of a crying noise, “Well, isn’t that a sad truth.”

You Might Also Like


  • Reply KK April 20, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    OMG !!! I wonder why women tell other women to fight for their marriage also? I just couldn’t look at my man the same. Maybe that just old school, because every last one of those women who are in a 20+ year marriage husband has had some form of indiscretion, and guess what “they fought for their marriage”. Heck they probably still fighting.

    However, all my married friends have told me that when a man emotionally cheats, its worst than actually physically cheating. Once again I don”t understand the rationale behind that thought process. In my opinion, all form of cheating is bad especially if I am keeping it 100% in the relationship. Hey, what do I know, I am single so obviously I’m not “fighting” for anything (face of non-concern). However, pushing mid 30’s and not a relationship in sight I may need to fight for something (face of non-concern again).

    Maybe I’m just too immature in my mid 30’s to grasp the concept of “fighting for your marriage”. Or not mature enough to grasp the concept of a real relationship/marriage??

    Lets play the imagination game….ready!!!

    Imagine your husband, fiance or boyfriend in which you both have made a commitment to be with each other exclusively. Side note – just because you are married doesn’t always mean you are in a exclusive relationship; it all depends on what terms are set between you and your spouse.

    OK back to our imagination game – So you decide to truly let out Pandora’s box. Why? Because you trust him. So you know how freaky and nasty you both get with each other. Now you find out he cheated (FACE OF SHOCK). Now imagine how nasty and freaky he got with that other women or potentially a man (you know how men have several secret levels these days).

    Now that this thought has gone through your head can you officially say you will “fight” for your relationship??

    I can say I will because I am kicking everyone a** that was involved in the situation. I am handing a a** whooping to my spouse/finance/boyfriend and the women or man (face of concern if its a man – only because I thought I was in a heterosexual relationship) involved.

    By the way I just love reading your posts.

    • Reply ebony April 24, 2017 at 10:51 am

      I’m with you! My fear is if I “fight” for my marriage I will continually “FIGHT” for my marriage. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life “fighting”. I’m like Sophia from “The Color Purple”, “All my life I had to fight…but I didn’t think I would have to fight in my own house.” And to be very blunt the thought of my man doing freaky ish with somebody else makes me sick…and violent (LOL). But mostly sick.

    Leave a Reply